10 Steps to Building the Community You Don’t Have (Yet)

Without a doubt, community is invaluable. But in this day and age, you have to build it. Luckily, you have a community just waiting to come together right in your neighbourhood. This actionable 10-step plan will help you build a meaningful community right in your own backyard.

There are a lot of people doing the work out there to reconnect communities, especially in gardening spaces, but the person I kept coming back to is Graham McBain.

I came across his HeyNeighbor Instagram when he was showing off his great big, tall sunflowers. In the video, he was talking about how front yard gardens were such a great way to meet and connect with your neighbours.

Of course, that’s a message I agree with wholeheartedly. He felt like a brother from another mother. Somebody who totally gets my brain.

I commented that his sunflowers look just like the ones in my front yard garden. He was quick to reply, and then suddenly, I went down the rabbit hole of following his content.

Graham is so passionate about building neighbourhoods that he does this free Zoom call every Friday. I signed up just to see what it was all about.

I ended up loving the way Graham broke things down in a very practical and grounded way. I reached out to ask if he’d be open to sharing that framework here and to have a conversation with me about it. He was generous and said yes.

As he talks about it, you can tell it changed his life.

“After turning my neighbourhood into a community, I saw how powerful it was, and how much it changed my life and the lives of everyone in the neighbourhood,” says Graham.

“I think a lot of people want to live in neighborhoods where they know everybody, but there’s no framework for how to do it, and so that’s why I created my 10-step plan. I know it’s helped a lot of people go from desire to action.”

• The HeyNeighbor 10 Step Plan
• Step 1: Define Your Neighbourhood
• Step 2: Be Friendly and Vulnerable
• Step 3: Host Your Event
• Step 4: Make One-on-One Connections
• Step 5: Create a Virtual Hub
• Step 6: Host Recurring Events
• Step 7: Organize Annual Planning Parties
• Steps 8-10: Sustaining Your Thriving Community.
• More Ways to Build Community

The HeyNeighbor 10 Step Plan

If you’re not on Instagram and don’t feel ready to check out his weekly Zoom call. You can go through the 10-step plan because Graham has agreed to share it with us today.

That being said, I really support this project and love all Grant is doing, so I really encourage you to give him follow and attend one of his calls.

Step 1: Define Your Neighbourhood

Start by choosing your neighbourhood size. Set the parameters for how large you want your “neighbourhood” to be. Graham recommends starting with 200 homes or fewer. “Too big feels overwhelming and impersonal. Too small can feel limiting and exclusive,” says Graham.

Your neighbourhood will often have natural boundaries, which make it easier. My current neighbourhood group chat spans just two street blocks, and it has over forty people in it.

Step 2: Be Friendly and Vulnerable

The next is arguably the most intimidating. You’re going to knock on some doors and invite people to a neighbourhood event. It’s single-handedly the best way to reach your neighbours. And no, an event poster on the telephone poll or mailbox won’t cut it!

Be vulnerable, explaining the reason why you’re interested in creating a community. Take it one step further by trying to engage in meaningful conversation, so the conversation feels natural. Drop off a flyer with all the event information.

“The biggest obstacle that most people have to overcome is the fear of being rejected, the fear of looking silly, and the fear of being brave and knocking on a door to ask people to be your friend. It’s a very uncomfortable thing,” says Graham.

You may be lucky in that there are already connections within the community that you can build on. In my first neighbourhood, I met my back alley neighbours during a garage sale. We bought their mismatched vintage dishes (which I still use today), and they bought our cheese grater. From there, I started to get to know the other neighbours and became closer to those who lived on our street.

Step 3: Host Your Event

Host your first event! Make sure to keep the stakes of the event low and on neutral ground. Avoid hosting in houses for your first event so that people feel comfortable. Make the event casual and approachable, like front yard coffee or happy hour.

Choose times that work for most people and avoid elaborate planning. It should be easy to stop by.

Step 4: Make One-on-One Connections

During the event, make an effort to talk to everyone. Chances are, you’ll find at least one person that you genuinely connect with.

“Look for people who linger after others leave, who ask thoughtful questions about future events, or who volunteer to help clean up. These are often the community-minded individuals who will become your co-conspirators in creating something special,” says Graham.

When you’ve identified your one person, ask them to help plan the next event or simply to grab coffee. You’re going to change your community venture into a shared vision rather than a solo mission.

Step 5: Create a Virtual Hub

During your event, try to gather everyone’s contact info to make it simpler to organize your next meeting and maintain these new connections. From this info, you can create a virtual hub that allows everyone to easily communicate. Depending on what your community is like, this can be a WhatsApp group, a Facebook Group, or some other messaging tool.

My community uses a WhatsApp group chat. In it, we organize events but also share musings on what’s happening in the neighbourhood, some items we’re giving away or looking for, share our child’s fundraiser, etc. It makes it super simple to connect.

Step 6: Host Recurring Events

Keep the momentum going! Make events an ongoing practice in your neighbourhood. Choose something that not only do you like planning, but that others in your community would also like to take part in. This can include monthly happy hours, seasonal potlucks, outdoor movie nights, and more.

To this day, I still stop by the annual events in my old neighbourhood. It’s been fifteen years since I lived in my first home, but I still participate in the yearly Christmas wreath-making afternoon. And from my second house, where I no longer live, I just went to the annual cookie exchange.

Bonus tip: Look for community grants. Many communities will have small neighbourhood grant programs to provide funding for small events like block parties, skill-sharing workshops, neighbourhood beautification projects, etc. In their eyes, a connected community will work to keep it beautiful, safe, and more comfortable for residents.

Last-minute events work too! “Last night we got a text that one neighbor set up a projector to watch the playoff games, and a few families were over there hanging out around a fire pit. It was less than 30 minutes from invitation to hang out, which I feel like is pretty impossible in our modern society,” says Graham.

Step 7: Organize Annual Planning Parties

After a few events, people will really start to feel engaged. Having a planning party will help encourage others to get involved in planning activities and allow everyone to be on the same page.

“When people have input into the calendar and ownership of specific events, engagement increases dramatically,” says Graham. “The planning party itself becomes a cherished tradition that reinforces relationships and shared vision.”

Steps 8-10: Sustaining Your Thriving Community.

At this point, your community is slowly turning into a well-oiled machine. Here’s how to keep the momentum going:

• Step 8: Give Out Micro-Roles. People may not want to lead events, but they may want to help in other ways. Distribute as much work as you can to help others feel a sense of ownership.
• Step 9: Welcome New Neighbours. One of those roles could be the welcome committee! I was lucky in that my current neighbourhood already had many connections, and someone came and knocked on my door to welcome me to the neighbourhood. It makes things much less intimidating as a newcomer.
• Step 10: Live It Up & Spread the Word. Always remember why it is that you started this in the first place. Enjoy the community you’ve created and share with others how they can do the same in their own neighbourhood.

“The biggest benefit is just how content I am in my social life,” says Graham. “I used to have a lot of low-level anxiety around having friends and having a community for a kid to live in. But now my cup is very full all the time. Different things happen almost every day that remind me how lucky I am.”

Thanks again to Graham for generously sharing his HeyNeighbor framework with us! Be sure to register for his next free class to learn more about how you can do the same in your neighbourhood.

More Ways to Build Community

• Simple Front Yard Garden Ideas to Revitalize Community
• Start a Gardening Club to Find Community and Connection
• Community Ideas for Improving Food Security
• How to Make a Little Seed Library in Your Community
• Spread the Flower Love With an Urban Flower Farm Stand